Help Us Name Our Roasts

We've got beans. We don't have names for them yet. Send us your best (or worst) roast name ideas below — if we end up using yours, we'll credit you when we launch.

How this works

1. You submit a name (or five, but pick your favorite).
2. We read every single submission. Actually every one.
3. We'll go through our favorites — and the unhinged ones — in a future YouTube episode. Come watch that when it happens →
4. If we use your name, you get credit when the roast launches.

Guidelines, such as they are

• Has to survive Gary saying it out loud three times.
• Bonus points if it means something. Extra bonus points if it doesn't.
• Keep it clean — Patricia reads these too.
• One submission per person. We're a five-person company.

No purchase necessary, nothing to buy yet anyway.